When it comes to children, you are their role model. Parents are their first teachers. It is important to let them know how to deal with various situations as they age. Appropriate responses lead to positive outcomes. Never is this more important than dealing with defiant children. Model appropriate behavior. It will make things easier on you and on your children.
What Makes Defiant Children Different
Defiant children may suffer from a condition called ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. This is more complex than just being stubborn. These children are disagreeable in the extreme and the behaviors occur almost daily. Parents often feel responsible or guilty for their children’s behavior anyway, so this just makes the situation that much more intense. The children may break the rules, talk disrespectfully, and repeat annoying behaviors on a regular basis. Traditional types of discipline only fuel the children’s anger and irritability. Parents often find themselves on a perpetual search for new ways of handling the situation.
Practice what you preach.
To help the children and family, professionals, who specialize in behavioral disorders, can offer effective methods to help parents problem-solve, decrease negativity, manage anger, and increase social skills. There are also family sessions to discuss how the issues affect each household member.
In addition, parents can make things better by modeling the behaviors they want their children to emulate. Defiant children have a problem dealing with their emotions. Looking at their parents examples can assist them in making the best choices.
Practice Handling Adult Conflicts
During the day, you have many opportunities to practice conflict resolution with the adults around you. If your children hear you yelling at the customer service person when you have an issue, your children won’t think twice about yelling at you and others. Instead of becoming loud or aggressive, learn to communicate with others calmly and quietly. Even if your children aren’t anywhere around, the chances are high that someone’s children are within hearing distance.
Wait Patiently and Quietly
Have you waited in line for a long time because of a slow checkout person? Don’t mutter about them under your breath and then smile at them when you get to the head of the line. Resist giving people dirty looks as well. Waiting is a part of life.
Practice waiting patiently and quietly. You feel better in the end and you set the standard for your children when you model the behavior you expect to see in them. The earlier your children learn and master this skill, the better off they will be. Let’s face it. To be perfectly honest, it also means that you will be embarrassed less often by your children blurting out something they obviously heard you say.
Agree to Disagree
Kids watch you interact with others. When you have a disagreement, don’t yell, stoop to name-calling, or bring up the past. Deal with the situation at hand. Focus on the current issue only and redirect the focus back to the present as needed. Ideally, when people disagree, a compromise is made and each person gives a little.
There are times when a compromise just isn’t possible under the circumstances. In this case, it’s best to set a boundary, agreeing to disagree. This allows you to accept that the other person has a different point of view without agreeing with it.
Accept the Consequences
If you miss a payment, you get a late fee. You are responsible for paying it on time. Don’t make excuses or lay the blame elsewhere. Accept that you made a mistake and do things differently next time so that you don’t make the same mistake again. When you accept the consequences of your actions, your children will begin to understand that they aren’t the only ones who have to take responsibility for what they do, or don’t do, and say.
Use every opportunity to demonstrate positive behavior to your defiant children. It reminds them that they always have choices. The trick is to show them how to weigh the consequences of each and make the best choice.
Your child’s body is growing so rapidly, proper nutrition is extremely important for healthy growth. This is true both mentally and physically, and emotionally as well. Use the following top 5 smart nutrition tips for children as a way to ensure that your child has the best chance at a healthy and happy childhood, and develops beneficial habits that lead to being a fit and healthy adult.
#1 – Stay Hydrated, on a Consistent Schedule
Drinking water regularly is just as important as drinking enough every day. Children have unique fluid needs. Since their bodies are growing so rapidly, it is best for them to sip water throughout the day, rather than trying to reach their daily water intake in just a few drinking sessions. Teach your children at a very young age to keep a water bottle handy, sipping and refilling all day long.
#2 – Promote Quick Muscle Recovery
Adults should eat some protein and carbohydrates within the first 60 minutes after exercising. Children have internal systems which are quicker at healing and repairing than adults. This is why you should make sure your kids enjoy a high protein snack or small meal in the first 30 minutes after they have played sports, exercised or played outside.
#3 – Practice What You Preach
This is more a tip for you than your child. Do you really expect your kids to enjoy a healthy diet if you don’t? To get your child eating more fruits, vegetables and whole foods, and less processed food items, you are going to have to do the same. Children look up to their parents, and by eating right you impact your own health in a positive manner while helping your child enjoy the benefits of good nutrition.
#4 – Do Not Forget the Fat!
In an effort to keep your child healthy, don’t forget that his body needs lots of “good fats” to function properly. Avoid trans fats and saturated fats, which means steering clear of pastries, doughnuts, french fries, processed foods and pizzas. Focus on getting healthy amounts of extra virgin olive oil, cold water fish like mackerel and salmon, grape seed oil, nuts and seeds into your child’s diet. Healthy fats are good for your kid, and those foods provide them.
#5 – Feed Your Kids Sweets… Seriously
We just mentioned cutting back on pastries and processed foods, and now we are recommending that you give your kids sweets. What gives? The rationale here is simple. Nutritionists, doctors and other health professionals like dietitian Sarah Krieger know how important it is for you to allow your child small amounts of sweets on a regular basis. This reinforces the idea that sweets should not make up a significant part of your child’s diet. As he grows older, your child will develop a smart and healthy relationship with sweet foods and treats. This may not be the case if you totally deny access to what children naturally have a taste for.